|Here's a compilation of some emails, picked more or less randomly from my mail folders. Maybe it's interesting to read them, and it should explain why I've first encoded my email address into hex-format (6E 6F 63 61 73 68 40 77 6F 72 6B 2E 64 65), and then (as that didn't help much) completely gave up the firstname.lastname@example.org address, and got myself a new non-public address which isn't listed in the readme, help text, webpage, or elsewhere.||That mails quickly became a annoying major problem, I have tried to read that junk for years, probably lost half of my brain and hundreds of important mails among that garbage, and silently cursed those idiots. On the other hand, most of them probably didn't knew how much I did suffer under their 'harmless' questions, and most are probably just children whom asked for help.|
|Well, I am completly tortured, but not really angry. To avoid that somebody else reads the messages below and sends spam or angry mails to that guys I've overwritten all names and email addresses, but beside for that I didn't change the message content, it's not censored, and contains 100% authentic bullshit, read on own risk!|
Subject: work Date: Sun, 21 Feb 1999 09:24:13 EST From: Xxxxxxxxxx@aol.com To: email@example.com mine says when i click on blue i downloaded it thAT IT CAN NOT BE FOUND
Maybe it'd help if you'd threw blue inTO THE TOILET...?
Subject: Help Date: Thu, 18 Mar 1999 17:13:03 +1100 From: "<Type your name here>" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com YOU SUCK, TRYING TO SCAM A SUPER NES CONTROLLER you dont need it to make a fu<king emulator and you dont need cash or comics or coffe or a pocket gameboy e-mail me how you need them and i will not call you a piece of shit
Dear Mister 'Type your name here', I am very pleased to meet you, too.
Subject: NOEMS Date: Mon, 22 Feb 1999 17:57:55 EST From: XxxxxxXXX@aol.com To: Nocash@work.de Dear Sir; I have just downloaded the Game Boy emulator, and I need some help with it. The "readme" said that I need to remove "NOEMS," but I do not know how. So, could you tell me how? I would appreciate a response to this E-mail, ASAP. Thank you very much. Xxxxxxxxx X. Xxxxxxxx.
Okay, first of all, are you sure that you have downloaded NOEMS already?
Subject: bogus website Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 11:18:04 EST From: XXXXXXXX@aol.com To: firstname.lastname@example.org I have tryed just about every website for the no$cashgmb but I cant find it and your website said you had it and you did'nt you should take off the icon if you don't have it
Maybe my friend has it, but he won't give it to you.
Subject: emulator problems Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999 16:37:54 EST From: Xxxxxxxxx@aol.com To: email@example.com Hi I have emulator problems with my gameboy. I can not get pokemon red or blue version to work for it. I hope that you can send me another emulator gameboy and pokemon red and blue version so that it will work. Thanks for listening. Bye
Alright, I'll make a new emulator for you and mail it as soon as possible.
Subject: help me Date: Mon, 22 Feb 1999 19:39:07 -0500 From: xxxxxxx xxxxx >firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com yes i got the game and the emulator and it tells me (mmsystem281 could not be played. check the file name or install a driver that supports this type of file) help me please!!!!!
Ah yes, did you try unzipping it with MS Paint rather than Media Player?
Subject: Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999 18:29:09 PST From: "Xxxxx Xxxxxxxxx" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com hey can you please help me I got the pokemon blue game and when I click on the gmb icon it says: Increct system version Run windows systen setup program again What should I do?
Maybe run windows setup again?
Subject: Emulator trouble Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999 21:51:17 EST From: Xxxxxxxxxx@aol.com To: firstname.lastname@example.org Wut is PKUNZIP.exe ??????
Don't know, sounds like my latest PoKemon game.
Subject: Money Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999 22:07:36 -0600 From: "X Xxxx" <email@example.com> To: <firstname.lastname@example.org> LISTEN YOU FUCKER, KEEP YOU DAMN OPINIONS TO YOURSELF. HOW DARE YOU CURSE AT THE LORD!!!!! LOOK HERE BUDDY I GOT A COUPLE OF THINGS TO SAY TO YOU: 1. YOUR PROGRAM IS A PEICE OF SHIT, IT WONT RUN FOR NOBODY 2. YOU SAY YOUR SOME POOR ASS LOSER...HAHA FUCK YOU, LIAR 3. DONT YOU EVER CURSE ABOUT JESUS... Now that thats off my chest...... I feel better BUT I WILL NEVER FEEL GOOD TORWARDS YOU
I HAVE NOW REALIZED THAT THE LORD LOVES ME MORE THAN HIS IRON DICK
Subject: I NEED HELP Date: Thu, 10 Jun 1999 16:04:37 EDT From: XxxxXxxxXX@aol.com To: email@example.com Hi, I just downloaded you Gameboy emulator and i'm having mad trouble with it. I have no idea what to do. Can you help me. Please E-Mail me at "XxxxXxxxXX@aol.com" thanx a lot
Thanks to your detailed description it should be no problem to fix it.
Subject: please send... Date: Fri, 11 Jun 1999 11:58:04 EDT From: XXXXXXXXX6@aol.com To: firstname.lastname@example.org please send me yellow
Careful, careful, or I'll really give you yellow right into your face.
Subject: HELP Date: Fri, 11 Jun 1999 14:29:17 -0700 From: Xxxxx Xxxxxxxxx <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Can you give me instructions on how to install emm386, ems, please!
No, you won't understand it, go away.
Subject: Hello Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1998 21:40:41 -0400 From: "Xxxxxxx Xxx" <email@example.com> To: <firstname.lastname@example.org> Hello, I'm Xxxxxxx (Xxxxxx) and I want you to send me E-Mails when you get new stuff. Thank You!
Sure thing, I'll let you know then I get hot stuff.
Subject: Damaged Key Date: Mon, 20 Dec 1999 17:16:05 +0800 From: XxxxxXxxxXX <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org I gave you $10 aus dollars in exchange for the No$Gmb Licence key I got a reply in the email with the key i have used that key for a while now then when i recently downloaded The newest version of No$gmb it says the key is damaged but it still works on the old No$cash can you please send me a working copy for the V2.3a Thanx and your emulater is the best
Needless to say that I never heard of these guys, nor that they did register.
Subject: Try it Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2000 20:09:39 -0500 From: "Xxx" <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Dear Friend: This is an invitation for my personal friends to become lenders in the Liberty International Foundation. The minimum to participate is $1000 US which generates $10,000 after six months paid to you by cashier's check. [...]
Dear friend, would you please go and bother the Lord?
Subject: hgb Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 14:32:51 -0500 From: Xxxx <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org I have a question..... The hgb emulator is your??? why it dont have a guide??? i need to know how can i play with two game boys (cable link) with the hgb emulator... !!Please i need to know!! email me if you know.... and thanks
No sorry, mine is hzt, which is yours?
Subject: you are a idiot Date: Mon, 12 Jun 2000 22:23:51 -0400 From: email@example.com tu eres realmente un maldito idiota y tu emulador apesta hijo de puta. eri un culiao eri un aweonao gigante you are a real idiot and your emulator sucks you are a fucking boy and stupid son of a bich you are the most stupid gay in the funcking world you mather is a bich and all your family SUCKS. senkay kinshan haya ERI UN HIJO DE PUTA CULIAO CHUPAME LA QUE CUELGA MARACO
Que madito la apesta eri un culiao?
Subject: Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2000 09:44:58 +0800 From: "Xxx Xxxx Xxx" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: <email@example.com> how do i download no$gmb?
Subject: Upcode??? Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 19:20:10 -0500 From: "Xxxxxx Xxxxxxx" <Xxxxxxx@kconline.com> To: <firstname.lastname@example.org> When I run the program it says I dont have an "upcode". The game is Pokemon and if you dont know it where can I find it? Reply to email@example.com . thanks.
Does it also say that you don't have a delight overflow?
Subject: Can't get out of dos Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 03:09:25 EDT From: XXXXXXXXXX@aol.com To: firstname.lastname@example.org Could you please help me. I was playing pokemon pinball in dos mode and i tried to quit out of it. Now every time that i start up my computer pokemon pinball also starts. could you please help me on how to work it in windows and get back to windows. I would also like to know how the gameshark works. Thanks a lot!
Great idea! Hey, I could also make it translate to arabic, what do you think?
Subject: Registrition Key Date: Thu, 1 Jun 2000 17:36:44 EDT From: XxxXxxXxxx@aol.com To: email@example.com I have this registration, witch I paid for, for No$GMB 2.1 and I recently downloaded NO$GMB 2.2a and I cut and pasted the registration.key to that folder but it says illegal or damaged registration key and I did get it from sending money (first I tried a while ago to download an illegal one but it did not' work so I sent money to you) So can you repair or send me the updated one for free via e-mail. Thanks Xxxx P.s. I enclosed the dameged/or NO$GMB 2.1 registration key.
Okay, I will send one for free, or maybe I can directly upload it into a newsgroup?
Subject: It's about pokemon Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999 19:23:19 EST From: XXXXxxxxx@aol.com To: firstname.lastname@example.org Sorry to bother you but it still won't work it says not enough memory and i don't know what you mean when you tell in readme to check something please help me thank you
I just meant what I said.
Subject: damaged register key Date: Sat, 11 Mar 2000 13:13:22 -0800 From: "Xxxxxx" <email@example.com> To: <firstname.lastname@example.org> i got this from you a while ago and my freind was messing with when i was helping my mother with something and it said that the key was damaged or illegally owned i also think it maybe because i dowloaded the 2.4 verson and i started to have problems with it at about then so. i would aprtiate it if you could please it and return it.
It isn't damaged, it's just that blooksuckers like you may not use version 2.4, nor any other no$gmb versions.
Subject: Damage key Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2000 16:25:09 -0800 From: "Xxxxxx Xxxxxxxxx" <email@example.com> To: <firstname.lastname@example.org> The key that I have is damage, see if you can help me out because it won't work for my emulator.
You've stolen the key, and the message says "illegal or damaged", is that so difficult to understand?
Subject: it doesn't work Date: Wed, 24 May 2000 21:20:02 EDT From: Xxxxxxxxx@aol.com To: email@example.com My emulater doesn't work. I've tried everything and nothing happens. What's wrong?
Subject: Postage Date: Fri, 6 Feb 1998 16:22:27 -0000 From: "Xxx" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: <email@example.com> Would a post from the USA get to you if using US stamps Or would i need stamps from Germany ? Thanks Xxx firstname.lastname@example.org
I think you must first fly to germany, and then put it into german mail ;-)
Subject: Damaged Registration Key Date: Mon, 06 Dec 1999 08:55:26 GMT From: "Xx xx" <email@example.com> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Martin Korth, I registered your product at the start of the year. Just today a went to your site and downloaded the newest version. But when I go into your program it says that it is an illegal or damaged registration key. I have attached my key as it says in the readme file (readme.txt). I have NOT obtained this key illegally. I hope you can fix my problem. >From Xxxx mailto: email@example.com
Yes, yes, of course you haven't stolen it illegally.
Subject: Japanese Date: Mon, 2 Aug 1999 21:38:51 -0500 From: "Xxxx Xxxxx" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: <email@example.com> The pokemon game is in Japanese. IM NOT JAPANESE. why. Write back firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: I am the Devil Date: Tue, 19 Oct 1999 22:45:27 +1000 From: <email@example.com> To: [Undisclosed Recipients] I am the Devil! (and you are Death) How is the people I decided to send an email to. I have nothing interesting to say, but what I like to do is write email's to the people I know so that I get an email back making me look important in-front of my friends! Everyone write to me! Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxx -The Devil
Subject: your gay little pokemon emulator doesnt work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Date: Wed, 03 Nov 1999 21:06:53 CST From: "Xxxxx Xxxxx" <firstname.lastname@example.org> To: email@example.com Im never downloading anything of yours until you fix my emulator
Fine, that'll be a big relief.
|Whew, you got through it, read all messages, and your brain has survived the procedure? Congrats! Now that's been just the usual amount that arrived within two days. If you still say that it's funny, and/or became boring - then imagine how it feels when you get 10,000 of these mails...||However, now please don't think that all no$gmb users are annoying idiots and lamers - I'd suspect that the majority are idiots and/or lamers - but nevertheless I've also got a couple of very helpful detailed bug reports, and some very (very) friendly, intelligent, and highly motivating comments.|
PS: In case that some people didn't understand what I've been talking about: The above are questions that I do not, did not, will not, and would not reply to - even if you'd have my new email address, please go and bother somebody else.
Back to no$gmb page.